Amazing ....

AT&T is a cell phone carrier that knows how to make a successful promotion. Take a look at these great posters. Using just hands and a phone, American carrier recreates a popular idea of painting hands into the colors of different countries.

RIP Ellie

So so sad ..

Ellie lost her battle with Leukaemia last night ..

The only comfort is that she is no longer suffering ..

T & L have been through so much with her .. but still 6 is far too young to die! (She would have turned 7 in Sept)

Her brain injury from the infection may have made it hard for her to communicate but she sure fought and made sure she was able to be understood ..

Then for the Leukaemia to come back after she was in remission for those few months is just so cruel ..

Words can't convey how sad I feel .. and it's hard not to compare with Cam ..

The funeral is on Friday ..

More interesting stuff ..

Ten Steps to Self-Confidence
By Stacey Chillemi

Self-confidence is like being rich - it is something we think everyone else is but us. Yet feeling insecure about ourselves is perhaps the most common problem we face. 

“Self-confidence is like being rich - it is something we think everyone else is but us. Yet feeling insecure about ourselves is perhaps the most common problem we face.”

 

Self-confidence-like being rich - it is something we think everyone else is but us. Yet feeling insecure about ourselves is perhaps the most common problems of humanity. The majority of people in society think, "You have to be born with it." This is not true. You can learn how to be confident, just like learning how to cook or drive a car.

Self-confidence all boils down to how we feel about ourselves. Our self-confidence begins to develop from the moment we are born. Many components affect the development of our self-esteem, for example - how we are raised, how people talk to us and things we experience during our lifetime. Many of us tend to judge how well we our doing in life by what society thinks it is right or what the people who center our life think.

We all have standards and expectations that we all tend to try to live up too. If we do not meet up to our standards, which most of us do not, our self-confidence begins to slowly decline. Many of us try to have unrealistic standards that we try to live up too and we tend to lose sight of the fact that we cannot be perfect.

We need to accept ourselves, love ourselves and be happy with who we are as people. We were valued for just being people, for just being in this world. We often believe we must continually try to prove to other people that we are worthy of them or on the same level as them. We often spend too much time doing that and we lose sight of the fact that we are fine just the way we are and that the only person that needs to be happy with them is themselves even though we are not perfect people.

In order to gain self-confidence you need to believe in yourself. If you believe in yourself then you can succeed in anything you put your mind to. You may not succeed the first time you try, but you have to keep trying until you do succeed. Quick success does not exist in our society. Achievements only come to those who strive hard to get them. You get nowhere in life if you do not push yourself. You need to create a lifestyle that is right for you and nobody else. Do not settle for anyone else's lifestyle or for a lifestyle that is beneath your standards.


 

My "10 step plan" to increasing confidence:

 

 

1.        Begin a journal. Ask yourself what is making you feel like you cannot get to the point in life you want to reach. Write any thoughts that come to mine. Also, write down what self-confidence means to you.

 

 

2.        Remember the past is over; you can only change the future.
Write down 10 positive things about yourself. Go through your journal and look at all the positive things about yourself. Concentrate on your strengths. These are the reasons you should love yourself and have high self-esteem and self-confidence in yourself. Give yourself credit for everything positive you have written about yourself. Remember, you are somebody special.

 

3.        Accept yourself and learn to love yourself for whom you are a person.Everyone has his or her own unique qualities and characteristics. We are all born differently for a reason. Do not compare yourself to others.

 

4.        Understand yourself mentally, physically and spiritually.

 

• Take some time to relax by yourself in a quiet room...
• Rest on your back with head and neck comfortably supported.
• Rest hands on upper abdomen, close your eyes and settle in a comfortable position.
• Breathe slowly, deeply and rhythmically.
• Inhalation should be slow, unforced and unhurried.
• Silently count to four, five or six, whatever feels right for you.
• When inhalation is complete, slowly inhale through the nose. Count this breathing out, as when breathing in.
• The exhalation should take as long as the inhalation. There should be no sense of strain. If initially, you feel you have breathed your fullest at a count of three, which is all right.
• Try gradually to slow down the rhythm until a slow count of five or six is possible, with a pause of two or three between in and out breathing.

5.        Be ready. Self-confidence comes a lot easier to the person who is sure their ready.

 

6.        Strengthen your inner self. Write down in your journal what you will be able to do once you acquire the confidence you need.

 

7.        Begin changing what you do not like about yourself. Confidence comes from within. You need to concentrate on the positive things about yourself.

 

8.        Notice the change in our self-esteem and self-confidence. Reward yourself each time you do something that makes you feel proud...go out some place or take it easy for the day.

 

9.        Learn how to give and take. Confidence is being able to find a balance between giving help to people and excepting when we need help.

 

10.      Have a tremendous amount of pride in yourself. Remember, you are number one!

Interesting concept ..

The Seven Day Mental Diet
How to change your life (and the world) in a week

by Emmet Fox

The subject of diet is one of the foremost topics of the present day in public interest. Newspapers and magazines teem with articles on the subject. The counters of the bookshops are filled with volumes unfolding the mysteries of proteins, starches, vitamins, and so forth. just now the whole world is food-conscious. Experts on the subject are saying that physically you become the thing that you eat that your whole body is really composed of the food that you have eaten in the past. What you eat today, they say, will be in your bloodstream after the lapse of so many hours, and it is your blood-stream that builds all the tissues composing your body -and there you are.

Of course, no sensible person has any quarrel with all this. It is perfectly true, as far as it goes, and the only surprising thing is that it has taken the world so long to find it out; but in this pamphlet I am going to deal with the subject of dieting at a level that is infinitely more profound and far reaching in its effects. I refer of course to mental dieting.

The most important of all factors in your life is the mental diet on which you live. It is the food which you furnish to your mind that determines the whole character of your life. It is the thoughts you allow yourself to think, the subjects that you allow your mind to dwell upon, which make you and your surroundings what they are. As they days, so shall they strength be. Everything in your life today the state of your body, whether healthy or sick, the state of your fortune, whether prosperous or impoverished, the state of your home, whether happy or the reverse, the present condition of every phase of your life in fact-is entirely conditioned by the thoughts and feelings which you have entertained in the past, by the habitual tone of your past thinking. And the condition of your life tomorrow, and next week, and next year, will be entirely conditioned by the thoughts and feelings which you choose to entertain from now onwards.

In other words, you choose your life, that is to say, you choose all the conditions of your life, when you choose the thoughts upon which you allow your mind to dwell. Thought is the real causative force in life, and there is no other. You cannot have one kind of mind and another kind of environment. This means that you cannot change your environment while leaving your mind unchanged, nor-and this is the supreme key to life and the reason for this pamphlet -can you change your mind without your environment changing too.

This then is the real key to life: if you change your mind your conditions must change too- your body must change, your daily work or other activities must change; your home must change; the color-tone of your whole life must change-for whether you be habitually happy and cheerful, or low-spirited and fearful, depends entirely on the quality of the mental food upon which you diet yourself.

Please be very clear about this. If you change your mind your conditions must change too. We are transformed by the renewing of our minds. So now you will see that your mental diet is really the most important thing in your whole life.

This may be called the Great Cosmic Law, and its truth is seen to be perfectly obvious when once it is clearly stated in this way. In fact, I do not know of any thoughtful person who denies its essential truth. The practical difficulty in applying it, however, arises from the fact that our thoughts are so close to us that it is difficult, without a little practice, to stand back as it were and look at them objectively.

Yet that is just what you must learn to do. You must train yourself to choose the subject of your thinking at any given time, and also to choose the emotional tone, or what we call the mood that colors it. Yes, you can choose your moods. Indeed, if you could not you would have no real control over your life at all. Moods habitually entertained produce the characteristic disposition of the person concerned, and it is his disposition that finally makes or mars a person's happiness.

You cannot be healthy; you cannot be happy; you cannot be prosperous; if you have a bad disposition. If you are sulky, or surly, or cynical, or depressed, or superior, or frightened half out of your wits, your life cannot possibly be worth living. Unless you are determined to cultivate a good disposition, you may as well give up all hope of getting anything worth while out of life, and it is kinder to tell you very plainly that this is the case.

If you are not determined to start in now and carefully select all day the kind of thoughts that you are going to think, you may as well give up all hope of shaping your life into the kind of thing that you want it to be, because this is the only way.

In short, if you want to make your life happy and worth while, which is what God wishes you to make it, you must begin immediately to train yourself in the habit of thought selection and thought control. This will be exceedingly difficult for the first few days, but if you persevere you will find that it will become rapidly easier, and it is actually the most interesting experiment that you could possibly make. In fact, this thought control is the most thrillingly interesting hobby that anyone could take up. You will be amazed at the interesting things that you will learn about yourself, and you will get results almost from the beginning.

Now many people knowing this truth, make sporadic efforts from time to time to control their thoughts, but the thought stream being so close) as I have pointed outs and the impacts from outside so constant and varied, they do not make very much progress. That is not the way to work. Your only chance is definitely to form a new habit of thought which will carry you through when you are preoccupied or off your guard as well as when you are consciously attending to the business. This new thought habit must be definitely acquired, and the foundation of it can be laid within a few days, and the way to do it is this: Make up your mind to devote one week solely to the task of building a new habit of thought, and during that week let everything in life be unimportant as compared with that. If you will do so, then that week will be the most significant week in your whole life. It will literally be the turning point for you. If you will do so, it is safe to say that your whole life will change for the better. In fact, nothing can possibly remain the same. This does not simply mean that you will be able to face your present difficulties in a better spirit; it means that the difficulties will go. This is the scientific way to Alter Your Life, and being in accordance with the Great Law it cannot fail. Now do you realize that by working in this way you do not have to change conditions? What happens is that you apply the Law, and then the conditions change spontaneously. You cannot change conditions directly you have often tried to do so and failed but go on the seven day mental diet and conditions must change for you.

This then is your prescription. For seven days you must not allow yourself to dwell for a single moment on any kind of negative thought. You must watch yourself for a whole week as a cat watches a mouse, and you must not under any pretense allow your mind to dwell on any thought that is not positive, constructive, optimistic, kind. This discipline will be so strenuous that you could not maintain it consciously for much more than a week, but I do not ask you to do so. A week will be enough, because by that time the habit of positive thinking will begin to be established. Some extraordinary changes for the better will have come into your life, encouraging you enormously, and then the future will take care of itself. The new way of life will be so attractive and so much easier than the old way that you will find your mentality aligning itself almost automatically.

But the seven days are going to be strenuous. I would not have you enter upon this without counting the cost. Mere physical fasting would be child's play in comparison, even if you have a very good appetite. The most exhausting form of army gymnastics, combined with thirty mile route marches, would be mild in comparison with this undertaking. But it is only for one week in your life, and it will definitely alter everything for the better. For the rest of your life here, for all eternity in fact, things will be utterly different and inconceivably better than if you had not carried through this undertaking.

Do not start it lightly. Think about it for a day or two before you begin. Then start in, and the grace of God go with you. You may start it any day in the week, and at any time in the day, first thing in the morning, or after breakfast, or after lunch, it does not matter, but once you do start you must go right through for the seven days. That is essential. The whole idea is to have seven days of-unbroken mental discipline in order to get the mind definitely bent in a new direction once and for all.

If you make a false start, or even if you go in well for two or three days and then for any reason "fall off" the diet, the thing to do is to drop the scheme altogether for several days, and then to start again afresh. There must be no jumping on and off, as it were. You remember that Rip Van Winkle in the play would take a solemn vow of teetotalism, and then promptly accept a drink from the first neighbor who offered him one, saying calmly: "I won't count this one." Well, on the seven day mental diet this sort of thing simply will not do. you must positively count every lapse, and whether you do or not, nature will. where there is a lapse you must go off the diet altogether and then start again.

Now, in order, if possible, to forestall difficulties, I will consider them in a little detail.

First of all, what do I mean by negative thinking? Well, a negative thought is any thought of failure, disappointment, or trouble; any thought of criticism, or spite, or jealousy, or condemnation of others, or self condemnation; any thought of sickness or accident; or, in short, any kind of limitation or pessimistic thinking. Any thought that is not positive and constructive in character, whether it concerns you yourself or anyone else, is a negative thought. Do not bother too much about the question of classification, however; in practice you will never have any trouble in knowing whether a given thought is positive or negative. Even if your brain tries to deceive you, your heart will whisper the truth.

Second, you must be quite clear that what this scheme calls for is that you shall not entertain, or dwell upon negative things. Note this carefully. It is not the thought that come to you that matter, but only such of them as you choose to entertain and dwell upon. It does not matter what thoughts may come to you provided you do not entertain them. It is the entertaining or dwelling upon them that matters. Of course, many negative thoughts will come to you all day long. Some of them will just drift into your mind of their own accord seemingly, and these come to you out of the race mind. Other negative thoughts will be given to you by other people, either in conversation or by their conduct, or you will hear disagreeable news perhaps by letter or telephone, or you will see crimes and disasters announced in the newspaper headings. These things, however, do not matter as long as you do not entertain them. In fact, it is these very things that provide the discipline that is going to transform you during this epoch making week. The thing to do is, directly the negative thought presents itself - turn it out. Turn away from the newspaper; turn out the thought of the unkind letter, or stupid remark, or what not. When the negative thought floats into your mind, immediately turn it out and think of something else. Best of all, think of God as explained in The Golden Key perfect analogy is furnished by the case of a man who is sitting by an open fire when a red hot cinder flies out and falls on his sleeve. If he knocks that cinder off at once, without a moment's delay to think about it, no harm is done. But if he allows it to rest on him for a single moment, under any pretense, the mischief is done, and it will be a troublesome task to repair that sleeve. So it is with a negative thought.

Now what of those negative thoughts and conditions which it is impossible to avoid at the point where you are today? What of the ordinary troubles that you will have to meet in the office or a home? The answer is, that such things will not affect your diet provided that you do not accept them, by fearing them, by believing them, by being indignant or sad about them, or by giving them any power at all. Any negative condition that duty compels you to handle will not affect your diet. Go to the office, or meet the cares at home, without allowing them to affect you. (None of these things move me) and all will be well. Suppose that you are lunching with a friend who talks negatively-Do not try to shut him up or otherwise snub him. Let him talk, but do not accept what he says, and your diet will not be affected. Suppose that on coming home you are greeted with a lot of negative conversation-do not preach a sermon, but simply do not accept it. It is your mental consent, remember, that constitutes your diet. Suppose you witness an accident or an act of injustice let us say Instead of reacting with pity or indignation, refuse to accept the appearance at its face value; do anything that you can to right matters, give it the right thought and let it go at that. You will still be on the diet.

Of course, it will be very helpful if you can take steps to avoid meeting during this week anyone who seems particularly likely to arouse the devil in you. People who get on your nerves, or rub you up the wrong way, or bore you, are better avoided while you are on the diet; but if it is not possible to avoid them, then you must take a little extra discipline that is all.

Suppose that you have a particularly trying ordeal before you next week Well, if you have enough spiritual understanding you will know how to meet that in the spiritual way; but, for our present purpose, I think I would wait and start the diet as soon as the ordeal is over. As I said before, do not take up the diet lightly, but think it over well first.

In closing, I want to tell you that people often find that the starting of this diet seems to stir up all sorts of difficulties. It seen is as though everything begins to go wrong at once. This may be disconcerting, but it is really a good sign. It means that things are moving; and is not that the very object we have in view? Suppose your whole world seems to rock on its foundations. Hold on steadily, let it rock, and when the rocking is over., the picture will have reassembled itself into something much nearer to your heart's desire.

The above point is vitally important and rather subtle. Do you not see that the very dwelling upon these difficulties is in itself a negative thought which has probably thrown you off the diet? The remedy is not, of course, to deny that your world is rocking in appearance, but to refuse to take the appearance for the reality (Judge not according to appearances but judge righteous judgment).

A closing word of caution-Do not tell anyone else that you are on the diet, or that you intend to go on it. Keep this tremendous project strictly to yourself. Remember that your soul should be the Secret Place of the Most High. When you have come through the seven days successfully, and secured your demonstration, allow a reasonable time to elapse to establish the new mentality, and then tell the story to anyone else who you think is likely to be helped by it.

And, finally, remember that nothing said or done by anyone else can possibly throw you off the diet. Only your own reaction to the other person's conduct can do that.

Eminem - Not Afraid

From the recovery album

(Hook)

I'm not afraid to take a stand
Everybody come take my hand
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that, you're not alone
Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road

(Intro)

Yeah, It's been a ride...
I guess I had to go to that place to get to this one
Now some of you might still be in that place
If you're trying to get out, just follow me
I'll get you there

(Verse 1)

You can try and read my lyrics off of this paper before I lay 'em
But you won't take this thing out these words before I say 'em
Cause ain't no way I'm let you stop me from causing mayhem
When I say 'em or do something I do it, I don't give a damn
What you think, I'm doing this for me, so fuck the world
Feed it beans, it's gassed up, if a thing's stopping me
I'mma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly
And all those who look down on me I'm tearing down your balcony
No if ands or buts don't try to ask him why or how can he
From Infinite down to the last Relapse album he's still shit and
Whether he's on salary, paid hourly
Until he bows out or he shit's his bowels out of him
Whichever comes first, for better or worse
He's married to the game, like a fuck you for christmas
His gift is a curse, forget the earth he's got the urge
To pull his dick from the dirt and fuck the universe

(Hook)

I'm not afraid to take a stand
Everybody come take my hand
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that, you're not alone
Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road

(Verse 2)
Ok quit playin' with the scissors and shit, and cut the crap
I shouldn't have to rhyme these words in the rhythm for you to know it's a rap
You said you was king, you lied through your teeth
For that fuck your feelings, instead of getting crowned you're getting capped
And to the fans, I'll never let you down again, I'm back
I promise to never go back on that promise, in fact
Let's be honest, that last Relapse CD was "ehhhh"
Perhaps I ran them accents into the ground
Relax, I ain't going back to that now
All I'm tryna say is get back, click-clack BLAOW
Cause I ain't playin' around
There's a game called circle and I don't know how
I'm way too up to back down
But I think I'm still tryna figure this crap out
Thought I had it mapped out but I guess I didn't
This fucking black cloud's still follow's me around
But it's time to exercise these demons
These motherfuckers are doing jumping jacks now!

(Hook)

I'm not afraid to take a stand
Everybody come take my hand
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that, you're not alone
Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road

(Bridge)

And I just can't keep living this way
So starting today, I'm breaking out of this cage
I'm standing up, Imma face my demons
I'm manning up, Imma hold my ground
I've had enough, now I'm so fed up
Time to put my life back together right now

(Verse 3)

It was my decision to get clean, I did it for me
Admittedly I probably did it subliminally for you
So I could come back a brand new me, you helped see me through
And don't even realise what you did, believe me you
I been through the ringer, but they can do little to the middle finger
I think I got a tear in my eye, I feel like the king of
My world, haters can make like bees with no stingers, and drop dead
No more beef flingers, no more drama from now on, I promise
To focus soley on handling my responsibility's as a father
So I solemnly swear to always treat this roof like my daughters and raise it
You couldn't lift a single shingle lonely
Cause the way I feel, I'm strong enough to go to the club
Put a ??? and lift the whole liquor counter up
Cause I'm raising the bar, I shoot for the moon
But I'm too busy gazing at stars, I feel amazing and

(Hook)

I'm not afraid to take a stand
Everybody come take my hand
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that, you're not alone
Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road

Lovin' this song at the mo ..

The kids were watching Shrek .. and I heard the song I've loved for ages but couldn't remember where I'd heard it .. I only really like the John Cale version though .. the others don't quite seem right :-)

John Cale - Hallelujah

I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah

Hallelujah

Your faith was strong, but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you
To a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Hallelujah

Baby I've been here before, I know this room
I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you
I've seen your flag on the Marble Arch
Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah

There was a time you let me know
What's really going on below
But now you never show it to me, do you?
I remember when I moved in you
And the holy dove was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah

Hallelujah

Maybe there's a God above, all I ever learned from love
Was how to shoot at someone who out drew you
And it's not a cry you can hear at night
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah
Hallelujah

Nana's funeral

It's been over a week since my beautiful, strong and courageous Nana took her last breath .. it's so hard to believe she has gone and that I'll no longer be able to pop up and see her and nut out the world's news stories and goings on around the place ..and share what's happening around here.

I miss her soooo much ..

The service for her funeral was on Tuesday and was beautiful.. and I have a feeling she would have loved all her family and friends being all together and the way they all banded together in the end ..

I scanned a heap of photos and with Mum's help made up 2 photo boards .. one with B & W and the other colour and more recent photos ..

We sang "How great thou art" first and then I read Psalm 23 ...

We had a Eulogy by my Mum's Uncle Albert .. he is 94 .. he is lovely and has such a great sense of humour .. then Mum's cousin Dean did a Eulogy and it was lovely.

Then we listened to Maria Elena by Jim Reeves- Pop sang the songs word for word .. just like he did when he sang to Nana just after she passed away .. talk about beautiful!

Maria Elena
You're the answer to a prayer
Maria Elena
Can't you see how much I care?
To me your voice is like the echo of a sigh
And when you're near my heart can't speak above a sigh

Maria Elena
Say that we will never part
Maria Elena
Take me to your heart
A love like mine is great enough for two
To share this love is really all I ask of you

.. and then we went and put flowers on her coffin and said out goodbyes..

Then we had tributes .. Rosie read a message from Pop .. then Lish stood up and read hers ..she was sooo brave and hardly wavered only towards the end..

This is what she said .. and all of it is soooo true ..

Nana A.

I have such wonderful memories of my Nana A.

When I was very little my sisters and I would go for a sleep over at Nanas where we were treated like royalty. We had all the baking we could eat, served up on TV trays in the lounge, even supper with a big mug of Milo! When we got thirsty, we got thick syrupy cordial cold from the fridge in purple plastic cups, that drink was so full of sugar, us kids loved it!

Bedtime we got a relaxing bath, we were allowed to play then Nana would come and give us a backwash and a fun game of tickle, I loved that.

Our beds were so luxurious, the electric blanket would be on and the sheets fresh and ironed making it so toasty, we almost needed to pole vault into the beds as they seemed so high to us littlies, then Nana would come and give us a kiss goodnight and tuck us in so tight we couldn’t move at all!!

Nana showed me once the little blue flowers that grew in her garden were in fact fairy’s toothbrushes, she plucked off the petals and it actually looked like a miniature toothbrush. I truly believed her and spent years pulling petals off flowers trying to find other fairy tooth brushes, but never found any, they must have only grown in Nanas magical garden!

Nana had all the best games and toys at her place, some of my favourites were: The happy families card game, the Russian dolls, pick up sticks and croquet.

I loved all the little things about Nana like the way she took so long to open a present carefully opening it so she could recycle the paper, She ironed everything from sheets, tea towels and even the wrapping paper so she could get the cello tape off!

We loved going shopping with her she always treated us to lunch at Farmers Co-op I liked to get a chicken stuffing sandwich and a cream horn! Yum.

There were the fun times like the time the mysterious chocolate bar was found on Nan and Pops back lawn, turned out it actually did fall off the back of a truck from the supermarket next door. The time Nanas grey hair got dyed bright orange like a punk rocker after she accidentally rubbed up against the lily pollen while she was gardening.

Also I loved the way Nana and Pop would wait outside their gate when we were leaving until they heard our car toot when we safely got through the “dangerous” Morley, Powderham street intersection. That was so sweet.

She was so clever with her handy hints always coming up with something I never knew, like the baking soda pot bottom cleaner and recently to cut an onion in half while painting to get rid off the smell. The hints were always really helpful! And No one could beat Nanas exquisite baking the cheese straws, jam sponge, jam cheesecakes or her homemade tomato relish and sauce. You would swear they were made in heaven!

As I grew older, I realized even more how amazing and special my Nana was. I never heard her say a bad word against anyone, she never judged, she always had positive lovely things to say. She was a joy to be around, she filled you up and made you happy, she had the most dazzling bright smile she made you feel so welcome and loved when she looked at you, you always left her house feeling fantastic.

Nana always had a clean orderly household. She enjoyed helping others, she cooked and cleaned for her elderly sick neighbours Miss Freathey and then Miss Bain and helped out Mr Christensen if needed, even though she was often not well herself. She was also a good neighbour to Mr and Mrs Old for years.

If you mentioned you needed something for your home or baby, she would scour the shops searching until she found the perfect item for you. She had so much love and care to give and gave it willingly. Everyone that was touched by her in their lives was enriched. I respect her for her unselfish kindness to others.

Nana I feel so privileged to have been your Granddaughter and been a part of your life, to have tasted your ambrosia and felt your unconditional love. I will miss you so much. I am so sad that my unborn baby will not get to meet you in this life. I will be telling him or her all about what a special beautiful person you were. I will never forget you or stop loving you.

Goodbye Nana.

After a few words from the Chaplain she was then led out of the church by Dad, Uncle Alan, Uncle Les, Peter, Phillip and Leslie.

The song "I love you because .." played as they went out ..

We then had cuppa .. and it was lovely as I got a photo of Pop and I - I have NO photos of him and I .. I was thrilled ...

..We then went out to the Chapel and held a service before her cremation.

At the end we let go of Mauve balloons.

RIP my beautiful Nana

My beautiful Nana A passed away peacefully last Thursday night ..

She went peacefully around 5.30 pm when Mum, Uncle Alan and Aunty Heather were with her .. after suddenly getting worse in the past couple of days.

I was so lucky to have seen her on Wednesday along with Abbie ..

It's so HARD to even comprehend that she is no longer here

Miss you so much already Nana

xxxxxx

Depressed much .. or just down ????

Here comes huge RANT!

OK I'm not doing well !!

Since Nana passed away in the middle of March it has steadily got worse ..

I got sick with that "virus" but I think that it's a culmination of everything that is going on .. I had blood tests to rule out "medical"stuff but they came back clear enough ..

The doc asked if I was stressed .. or depressed .. well there is so much going on that's depressive and stressful .. how could you not react .. but the reaction is getting out of control ..

I feel out of control ... spiralling towards a huge meltdown .. not a yelling and hitting and thrashing toddler tantrum .. more a go numb ..not react .. try not to feel kind of thing ..

Nana has got a lot worse .. she came out of hospital over a month ago now .. and was on oxygen occasionally .. she developed pulmonary edema over a week ago .. and was on ab's and during this time was on oxygen .. which was bumped up to 4litres .. this week she was kinda ok-ish on Friday .. not great .. tired but talking etc .. on Sunday when I visited after the HC event .. she was not talking hardly at all .. and seemed distracted .. that night she was suffering from chest pains most of the night and only told my aunty when she heard them up .. they called the doctor immediately and he has said there is more fluid on her lungs and has increased her morphine and she now has nasal medazalon .. and she is quite frightened to be left alone .. and so my Aunty is sleeping in the room with her. Mum was saying my aunty would wake up and it sounded like nana was up most of the night awake.

My Grandad is still hanging in there .. at the grand old age of 94 .. but is quite depressed .. he is in the hospital wing and although he is getting on in age .. his mind is quite active.. but it is body that has given out .. so he is amongst all the "ill" patients who have their heads lolling around all day .. or sleep all day .. and it's not doing the best for his mental health.

My good friend's daughter whose daughter has leukamia (and while being neutropenic contracted an infection in her lungs that travelled through her blood to her brain causing irrepairable damage to her brain) has now been told she is terminal and is now spending every day treasuring what little time she has left.

Cam is doing OK-ish at the moment .. he has his days .. and is mostly puffy when he wakes up .. but this seems to reduce during the day .. however his behaviour his gone to the dogs .. and so we feel something is definitely going on as he is sooo tired and the shadows under his eyes are getting darker and darker .. I just wish someone would get the liver and kidney scans sorted soon !! The "nagging" worry that isn't full on but is always there is getting me down ..

Stuff with C and I are "fair to midling" to say the least .. I just don't feel understood .. and if I mention depression .. it's a throw your hands up in the air kind result .. so I just can't be bothered .. but then of course it's nag nag about the lack of amorous action .. wtf!!!

The house is swallowing me up with all the "work" to be done .. the washing piling up .. the ongoing "kiddy" mess .. and the wardrobes spilling over out of the doors ..

C also is trying to get things sorted with the farms/pil retirement etc ..to give us some direction and this is good in the long term .. but in the meantime it's friggin stressful .. and with all that's going on with the farm this time of year the "breaking" point of his patience comes along quick.

My walking is going to the pack with all this yuck weather and with the way I'm feeling I just don't have the inclination to do any exercise on the "white elephant" treadmill sitting in the lounge taunting me every time I'm in there .. so of course the weight is piling back on again ... and like a couple of years ago it's a cycle that gets me down .. I eat because I'm down .. and then get down because of the weight gain .. and lack of discipline .. and so what do I do .. eat .. arrghh!

A is not settling at kindy very well .. she has a melt down each time Ieave .. (but apparently is fine when I leave) ..but that tears at your heart .. then this morning I rang to say she was sick .. and the comment was "it'll be interesting how she is on thursday huh?".. I mean why the fark even say it .. we al know and are thinking it but why verbalise it .. She looks so lost when I go to pick her up ..

M's behaviour is very confrontational .. and his lack of respect is really getting me down .. I've done the parenting course .. read the book.. but still are getting no-where .. and then when yell to get things done .. the guilt starts and the vicious cycle starts all over again .. where's supernanny when you need her?

It's HC awareness week and the lack of support (both from the other committee members & the local media) has been really disappointing .. a few people turned up to the family fun day .. but after the amount of work IW did and the cost to get it all together it gets you down when people don't make the effort to come along .. but in saying that the people who did come had a fantastic time!

The positive to this week is that the girls dinner is happening this Friday .. something to look forward to at the end of each month ..phew for that .. but the frowns from C before I get there .. sure puts a downer on it ..

I wish the slate could be wiped clean ..start again afresh .. instead of the dark cloud hanging over all day ..every day .. so tiring .. and the friggin dark clouds outside don't help either ..

What happened to the "looked forward to" visions when I would so look forward to the kids getting up so I could spend time with them .. be a mum to them ..

Urrghhhhhhhh!

Maybe I need to go to work .. but finding a job in this small town is so hard .. and  I would so miss my little princess .. and what if ..

I need a job that I can work at home .. but how much stimulation would that be ..

Arrgghhhhh!

I'm thinking I need to go back to see someone .. but I'm quickly discharged because I'm not "bad" enough .. but it's ongoing .. and we still haven't found the right AD that helps as with all that we have tried I end up like a hamster on a wheel .. and of course it's the first thing the doc prescribes when I mention that I'm down.

I'm at a loss as to what the heck to do !

Anzac Day

Lest we forget

New Zealand and Australian soldiers landing at Anzac Cove, 25 April 1915, Alexander Turnbull Library

What does Anzac stand for?

Australian and New Zealand Army Corps

Why Anzac Day?

The date, April 25, marks the anniversary of the landing of New Zealand and Australian soldiers – the Anzacs – on the Gallipoli Peninsula in 1915, during World War I.

Anzac Day is celebrated in both New Zealand and Australia and while it officially marks the anniversary of the Gallipoli landings it has expanded to include all Kiwi soldiers killed in war while also honoring returned servicemen and women.

What’s the significance of Gallipoli?

The battle at Gallipoli - a steep, rocky peninsula in Turkey - was one of New Zealand’s bloodiest campaigns which ended unsuccessfully for the Anzac soldiers with Gallipoli still held by its Turkish defenders nine long months later. The death toll included 2721 Kiwi soldiers - almost one in four of those who served on Gallipoli - 8500 Australians, 87,000 Turkish soldiers and 44,000 men from France and the British Empire.

How many wars has New Zealand fought in?

Aside from World War I and II, Kiwi soldiers have fought in a number of other conflicts including Asia 1948-72, The Cold War, Korean War, Vietnam War, Malayan Emergency and Confrontation in Borneo. Kiwi soldiers have battled in a number of conflict zones overseas including Afghanistan, Timor- Leste, Solomon Islands, Egypt, Middle East, Sudan, Iraq and South Korea.

The NZ Army says there are currently 625 New Zealand Defence Force personnel deployed on 14 peacekeeping operations, UN missions and defence exercises across 10 countries.

Why is the poppy the symbol for Anzac Day?

Red poppies are worn as a mark of respect to those who died during service to their country. The poppy has its origins in the early 20th century, when red or Flanders poppies bloomed over the graves of soldiers in France and Belgium.

The poppies became the symbol of remembrance following a poem written by Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae, a Canadian medical officer, called In Flanders Fields.

Sources: NZ History Online and NZ Army

Found in the FDMC newsletter

Monday, 14 September 2009

The Generation Game

Thanks to Alicja Dodunski for her photo and email concerning her families four generations of involvement with FDMC. Alicja had this to say.
Jordi Thompson in year 7 is a Grandchild of John Dodunski who attended FDMC. In fact Jordi's Great Grandfather Norman Dodunski (who is 93 and still alive) helped clear the land as a volunteer so FDMC could be built. Jordi's Great Uncles Ian and Robert Dodunski where first day pupils at FDMC. I think my Dad, John was a pupil in the second year of opening. Also Jodi's father Glenn Thompson was a pupil. His cousins Stefhan and Jesse Steer and David and Phillip Lepper also attended. So we have 4 generations affiliated with the school.
I also used to as a little girl come to church with my Grandad Norman in the chapel at FDMC when it was open to the public. Those were fond memories.

Cakes are pretty much done :-)

 

   

Boys 7th Birthday Preparations

The boys turn 7 on Saturday .. 7 !!!! when did that happen ..

So .....

Invitations - check

 

Party games - check

- Pin the horn on the dinosaur

- Pass the parcel

- Chocolate Game (dressing up in army jacket and hat and gloves)

- Pinata

- Musical chairs

Loot bags filled - check

Pressies wrapped - check

One cake semi iced .. still to put grass and army men around ..

Another cake to go..but .. I ran out of red and black food paste

.. so will get on to that tomorrow

Can't believe I'm sooo organised ..

..except for the house of course ..

.. which is nothing out of the ordinary

The Easter Story ..

About 1960 years ago, Jesus and his friends and followers were in Jerusalem preparing for the special Passover celebrations.

At the same time, the chief priests and other Jewish officials were meeting at the house of Caiaphas, the High Priest, to discuss ways of capturing Jesus quietly, and killing him. They wanted to kill Jesus because they hated how popular he was with the people and thought he might take some of their power away, and also more importantly, they did not believe Jesus's claim that he was the Son of God. "But we can't do it during the Passover celebrations," they agreed, "because the people might riot."

Judas Iscariot, one of Jesus's twelve disciples, went to the chief priests, and asked, "How much will you pay me if I betray Jesus to you?" They gave him thirty silver coins. From then on, Judas watched for a chance to betray Jesus to them.

On the first day of the Passover ceremonies, the disciples came to Jesus and asked, "Where are we going to eat our Passover meal?" Jesus replied, "Go into the city and find a man carrying a water jar and tell him, 'Our Master says, my time has come, and I will eat the Passover meal with my disciples at your house.'" So the disciples did as he told them, and prepared the meal there.

That evening as Jesus sat eating the Passover meal with his disciples, He broke the bread, blessed it and said, "Take this and eat it, for this is my body, which I am giving for you." He then took the cup of wine and gave thanks and said, "Drink this, all of you. This is my blood which is poured out for you." Then he said, "One of you will betray me." The disciples asked each other who would do that. But Judas knew he was talking about him and slipped out as soon as he could.

Jesus and the rest of the disciples finished the meal and when they had sung a hymn, they went out to a local beauty spot, the Mount of Olives, and Jesus said to them, "This very night all of you will run away and leave me." Peter, one of Jesus's best friends, said to him, "Even if everyone else leaves you, I never will. Even if I have to die with you, I will never let you down. I tell you the truth," Jesus answered, "Tonight, before the rooster crows, you will say three times that you don't know me."

Then Jesus took his disciples to a place called Gethsemane and said to them, "Sit here while I go over there and pray. Pray for strength against temptation." He went a little way from them, knelt down and started to pray. "God, my Father, if it is possible, please take this burden from me. But do what you want, not what I want." Jesus stayed there and prayed for about an hour.

When he returned to the disciples, he found them asleep and asked them, "Why are you sleeping? Couldn't you stay awake for one hour? Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation, for your spirit is willing, but your body is weak." Then he went away for a second time to pray, "My Father, if it is not possible to take this painful thing from me, and if I must do it, I pray that what you want will happen." Jesus went back to his followers and found that they had fallen asleep again, so he went and prayed a third time. When he came back the last time, they were still asleep so he told them, "Wake up! It is nearly time for the Son of Man to be betrayed by sinners! Here comes my betrayer."

After he left the meal, Judas had gone to the high priests and made arrangements with them and the soldiers about how they would know Jesus. "The one who I kiss is the one to arrest.", he said. When they arrived where Jesus and his disciples were, Judas went up to Jesus and kissed him and said, "Greetings, Teacher." And with that, the soldiers arrested Jesus.

Jesus was taken to the court of Caiaphas (the High Priest), the teachers of the law and the Jewish Elders. Peter followed at a distance into the courtyard. He sat down with the guards to see what would happen. The priests and the Sanhedrin (the name of the Jewish parliament) brought lots of witnesses who told lies about Jesus. But nothing could be proved and Jesus would not say anything to defend himself. Finally the High Priest said to him, "I ask you under oath: Are you the Son of God?" Jesus replied, "You say that I am." Then the High Priest said, "He has spoken against God!! Do we need anymore witnesses?" The other priests replied, "He should die for what he has said!"

Meanwhile, in the courtyard, a servant girl came up to Peter and said, "You were with Jesus of Galilee." Peter said, "I don't know what you're talking about." Then he went out to the gateway where another girl saw him and told the people around her, "This man was with Jesus of Galilee." Peter said, "I swear I don't know him!" After a little while, the people standing around the gate came up to Peter and said, "Surely you were with him, your accent gives you away." (People from Galilee had a different accent to people in Jerusalem.) Now Peter became angry and said, "I don't know the man!!" Immediately a rooster crowed. Then Peter remembered what Jesus had told him, "Before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times." He went outside and cried. He had denied knowing Jesus because he was scared that he might be arrested.

To sentence someone to death, the Jewish leaders had to have the Roman Governor's permission. So even thought it was now getting towards dawn (and against Jewish law!) they took Jesus before the Roman governor, Pilate, who asked him, "Are you the King of the Jews?" Jesus replied, "Those are your words." The priests and chief elders then began accusing him and still, Jesus did nothing to defend himself (much to the amazement of Pilate). The governor said, "Don't you hear how they're accusing you?" But still, Jesus didn't say anything!

Pilate didn't know what to do with Jesus. Because he didn't think he had done anything wrong, he sent him to the Jewish King Herod. Herod was pleased that Jesus had been arrested and questioned him, but again, Jesus said nothing. So Herod made fun of him and Herod's soldiers beat Jesus up. Then Herod sent Jesus back to Pilate as he didn't know what to do with Jesus either!

It was the custom, at the time Passover, for the Roman governor to release one Jewish prisoner chosen by the ordinary people. At that time, they had a notorious prisoner called Barabbas. When Pilate asked the crowd who they wanted released. The Priests stirred up the crowd so they called for Barabbas. Pilate asked them, "What do you want me to do with Jesus, who is called King of the Jews?" They answered back, let by the Priests, "Crucify him! Crucify him!"

Pilate asked them, "Why? What crime has he committed?" But, they shouted even louder, "CRUCIFY HIM!! CRUCIFY HIM!!" When Pilate saw that he was getting nowhere, he took some water and washed his hands in front of the crowd. (This is where we get the phrase 'washing our hands of something' when we want to show that we don't want the blame if something goes wrong!) Then Pilate released Barabbas. Jesus was flogged, and handed him over to be crucified.

The governor's soldiers took Jesus into the governor's palace and gathered around him. They stripped him and put a scarlet robe on him and then twisted together a crown of thorns and rammed it on his head. They put a staff in his right hand and knelt in front of him and mocked him saying, "Hail, king of the Jews!" They spat on him, and took the staff and struck him on the head again and again. After they had beaten him up, they took off the robe and put his own clothes on him. Then they led him away to crucify him.

As the soldiers led him away, they grabbed a man named Simon, (who was from Cyrene and on his way in from the country) from the watching crowd and made him carry the cross because Jesus had been beaten so badly, he was too weak to do so.

When they came to the place where they executed people, called Golgotha or 'The Place of the Skull', they offered Jesus cheap wine to drink to help stop the pain, but after he tasted it, he refused to drink it. When they had nailed Jesus up on to the Cross, the Jewish rulers among the crowd sneered at Jesus, saying, "If you are so wonderful and the King of the Jews, save yourself." An inscription, in Greek, Latin and Hebrew, was written on a bit of wood and put over Jesus' head on the cross. It read, "THIS IS JESUS, THE KING OF THE JEWS." Jesus prayed to God, "Father, forgive them, for they don't know what they are doing."

Two thieves were being crucified at the same time as Jesus, one on the right and one on the left. One of the criminals who hung next to Jesus hurled insults at him, "Aren't you the Christ? Why don't you save yourself and us, too!!" But the other thief disagreed with him and said, "Aren't you afraid of God since you are under the same sentence? We are being punished because we did wrong things. But this man has done nothing wrong." Then he said to Jesus, "Remember me when you come into your Kingdom." Jesus told him, "I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in heaven."

This happened about 12noon, and from then until 3pm it was dark because the sun did not shine! At 3 o'clock Jesus cried out in a loud voice, "My God, My God, why have you left me?" Then Jesus cried out in a loud voice again, "It is finished!" And he died. A Roman centurion, was standing in front of Jesus and heard his cry and saw how he died. He said, "Surely, this man was the Son of God!"

Because the next day was the Sabbath (Saturday, the Jewish Holy Day), the Jews didn't want the bodies left on the crosses. Later, an important Jewish council member called Joseph of Arimathea asked Pilate for Jesus's body. Pilate gave his permission for Joseph to remove his body. He and Nicodemus (another council member) took Jesus' body and wrapped it in strips of cloth (which was the Jewish burial custom). Near the place where Jesus was crucified, there was a garden that Joseph owned and in the garden was a tomb that no one else had ever used. So they buried Jesus in this tomb. The Romans put their best guards at the tomb and the Jewish Leaders had a massive stone rolled in front of it to stop Jesus's followers stealing the body and saying that he had come back to life.

Early on Sunday morning, Mary Magdelene, one of Jesus's followers, and some other women went to the tomb to put spices onto the body to stop it smelling. When they got to the tomb, they discovered that the stone had been rolled away from the entrance. They wondered what had happened! Suddenly two men dressed is white robes that glowed appeared in the tomb. The women were very frightened, but the men said "He is not here! He has risen just as he said." Then the women remembered what Jesus had said.

The women left the tomb and went to tell the other disciples about what had happened. The others did not believe the women because it sounded like rubbish! But Peter and John got up and ran to the tomb and found it empty with only strips of cloth lying in it. When they saw the empty grave,they believed that Jesus had risen. Then the disciples went home

Mary stayed at the tomb and was very sad and crying. She turned away from the tomb and saw Jesus there, but she didn't know it was Jesus. "Why are you crying? Who are you looking for?" Jesus asked her. She thought it was the gardener so said to him, "If you took Jesus's body away, please tell me where he is so I can go and see him." Jesus said to her, "Mary!" She turned to look at the man properly and saw that it was Jesus. Said said to him, "Rabboni!" (this means 'teacher' in Hebrew) She when to hug Jesus, but he said, "Don't hold on to me, because I have not gone back to heaven yet. But go and tell my disciples that I am going back to heaven." So Mary went back and told the disciples all about what had happened and that she had seen Jesus alive!

Jesus Appears to the Disciples

Later on the same day, two of Jesus's followers were walking from Jerusalem to a town called Emmaus (about 11 kilometres or 7 miles). They were talking about what had happened over the last few days. They were joined by a stranger on the road and started walking with him. It was Jesus but they didn't recognise him. Jesus asked them "What are you talking about?" They told Jesus all that had happened and about the women going to the tomb, the Angels telling them that Jesus was Alive and the other disciples finding the tomb empty. Jesus then explained to them about what the old Jewish prophets had said about Jesus coming back to life (although they still didn't recognise him!) When they had finished talking, they were near Emmaus. It was getting late, so the two men asked Jesus to stay the night with them.

They sat down to dinner and Jesus said grace. As he broke the bread to eat, the disciple realised it was Jesus. (They might have seen the holes in Jesus's hands where the nails had been.) They were amazed and ran all the way back to Jerusalem to tell the other disciples in Jerusalem what had happened!

They found the other disciples in a locked room because they were scared of being found by the Jewish leaders. While the two disciples were saying what had happened, Jesus appeared in the room and said "Peace be with you!" They were scared and thought Jesus was a ghost. But Jesus said "Look at my hands and feet, it is me. Touch my hands where the nails went in. A ghost doesn't have a body!"

He showed them his pierced hands where the nails had gone in and they believed it was him, Alive! Jesus ate some fish with them and explained why he had died and that he would soon go back to heaven. He also explained that he would send a helper, the Holy Spirit, to live in and help all of Jesus's followers. He told them not to leave Jerusalem until the Helper had come. He also told them to go and tell other people about him and that he loves everyone so much he died for them.

But there was one disciple who wasn't there when Jesus first appeared, his name was Thomas and he doubted that Jesus really was alive. He said that unless he saw the holes in Jesus hands, he wouldn't believe that he was raised from the dead.

The next week, the disciples were in the room again. This time Thomas was with them. Even though the room was locked, Jesus still appeared to them. He showed Thomas his hands. Thomas touched him and said, "My Lord and My God!" And believed that Jesus was alive.

40 days after Jesus rose from the dead, he got his followers together and took them out to Bethany. He prayed for them and while he was doing so, he was carried back up into Heaven. A shining cloud covered Jesus, but suddenly two men dressed in white shining clothes stood next to Jesus and said "Why are you looking into the sky? Jesus who you saw going into heaven will return the same way!"

The disciples went back to Jerusalem as Jesus had told them to do. A while later, the disciples were in a house waiting to celebrate Pentecost (the Jewish harvest festival). Suddenly there was a sound like a strong blowing wind in the house. They saw things like flames of fire that came and rested on each of the disciples. They were filled with the Holy Spirit, the helper just as Jesus had promised.

They went outside and to tell people about Jesus and found that people from lots of different countries could understand what they were saying. (People from different countries were staying in Jerusalem then for the Pentecost festival.) The people didn't understand this was possible, some people thought they were all drunk! But Peter said "How can we be drunk? It's nine o'clock in the morning!"

The disciples found that by the power of the Holy Spirit, they could speak lots of different languages. They told all the people about Jesus and what he did for everyone. Over 3000 people became Christians that day!

People have been telling others about Jesus all over the world ever since.

Good Friday ..

I find it so hard to get past my everyday life that is so full of 'things' to fully comprehend what Christ endured for us — to understand His sacrifice on Good Friday.

I'm yet to watch The Passion of the Christ as it seems so overpowering .. the amount of suffering He endured for us all ..

Here is a YouTube video featuring Lead Me to the Cross by Hillsong United with clips

from The Passion of the Christ.

Thank you Lord for all you have given us ..

Black dogs ..

I'm thinking the black dogs might be bounding away .. things are looking up ... *fingers crossed*

..it's coming up 3 weeks now .. and I was still down .. and over eating .. not feeling like exercise ..

Soooo

..it was about time I did something about it ... hopefully what I'm doing about it will help ..

..an CBT online course for depression .. MoodGym

Sometimes it's hard to distinguish between "real" grief and depression huh??

Between depression and a few different things also I suppose?.

..We'll see how it goes ..

4kgs .. weight gain is soooo sad !