The wife ...

The  wife came home early and found her husband in their  bedroom making love to a very attractive young  woman.

And she was somewhat upset.  'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare  you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of  your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right  away!'

And the husband replied,  'Hang on just a minute love so at least I can tell you  what happened.' 'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed,' but  they'll be the last words you'll say to  me!'

And  the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car  to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a  lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that  I took pity on her and let her into the  car.

I noticed that she was very  thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me  that she hadn't eaten for three  days.

So, in my compassion, I  brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made  for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because  you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing  devoured them in  moments.

Since she needed a good  clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was  doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full  of holes, so I threw them  away.

Then, as she needed  clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that  you have had for a few years, but don't wear because  you say they are too  tight.

I also gave her the  underwear that was your anniversary present, which you  don't wear because I don't have good  taste.

I found the sexy blouse my  sister gave you for Christmas that you  don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those  boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't  wear because someone at work has a pair the  same.'

The husband took a quick  breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my  understanding and help that as I walked her to the  door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and  said, 'Please ... Do you have anything else that your  wife doesn't use?'