Slinking to my goal ...

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Monday, August 18, 2008

A visit to see the T-Rex at Pukeariki

On Sunday 17th August (before we called around to see Pop for his 85th birthday), we called in to see the boys Nana to ask if she would like to come along to see the dinosaur ...

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What an awesome sight ....

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Having a closer look ...

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Some of the activities ...

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M5 and C5 getting a dinosaur view of another dinosaur .. which just happened to be a T-Rex

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The brilliant dinosaur faces ..

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The poster/hanging the boys loved ... and had great pleasure in telling us that the dinosaur down the bottom had been "dieded" by the T-Rex ... you could tell by the blood apparently ..

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Nana and the boys digging for dinosaur fossils in the big sand-pit .. not too sure what this was in the end ..

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Off to see more treasures in the rest of the museum ..

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the Moa ..

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looking at some of the displays ..

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C5 was impressed with the pterodactyl and looking in the display drawers (M5 was soo excited about them having things in them ..)

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Nana talking to C5 about the anchor .. and A2 saying ..."Look, look, bones ... how did they get out ?"

Dear Mum ...

I love you ... but please next time just take me to the hairdresser ..

Love A2

xx

The proof ..

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Before mum decided I needed a haircut ...

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Seems to say .. "Oh the shame of it all .. what will my day-care friends think ..". ...in fact she was saying .. "no mum ... no more cutting hair ...!"

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The end result ... crooked .. and a "helmet' haircut ...

a day in the life on the farm ...

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M5 washing out the calfateria ..

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C5 filling up the buckets, ready for the morning for Dad ..

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A2 and Dad .. M5 in the mud ..

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All of us on the day my sister and her husband visited ... rain soaked .. and cold ..

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Mail .. just when you least expect it ..

Sometimes you get mail you are waiting for, sometimes you get mail that you least expected that makes you happy, sometimes you get mail that brings you back to reality, and gives you goose-bumps ..

Well for some it's not a major, but for me, yesterday we got mail for C5 to have an echo ...

Why does this give me goose-bumps ..

Well because I have to stop thinking this little boy is just like everyone else .. and when the appointment comes around, I can see vividly on the screen that his little heart is struggling, and that ... that "shocks" me back to reality .. and leaves me morose ..

Yes I should be celebrating, he has survived all the odds, looked his maker in the eye more than once, but my brain the way that it's wired .. it starts wondering .. why do they need to do this when they said to leave it, what will they find, how much pressure is his heart under now, what new meds will they give him .. and the ultimate question ... how much longer am I going to have this mischieveous and cheeky little monkey ...

Too many questions. .. and some I really don't want answers for ..

Some times I just have to block it all out ..

Life huh? ..

Some of my favourite songs ....

This list might get long .. lol

Here's the ones I can find videos for so far...

Casting Crowns - Praise You in the Storm

Hope for HLHS video - C5 is at 4.36 in the video .. the photo is when he was about 3 ... the song is from Mark Schltz - He's my son

Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars

From Grey's Anatomy - The Fray - How to save a life

Creed - Children Don't Stop Dancing - Arms Wide Open - Higher

Joe Cocker - Have a little faith

John Hiatt - Have a little faith

Ronan Keating: If Tomorrow never comes

Roan Keating - Baby Can I Hold You

Seal - Crazy

Aerosmith - Don't Wanna Miss a Thing - Dream On - Walk this Way

Black Crowes - She Talks to Angels

Lighthouse Family - RainCloud - Lifted - PostCard from Heaven

A follow-up article ...

My friend is the person mentioned in the article as ...

"She has only one child, a daughter aged 40 who lives in rural Taranaki. "

I haven't been able to get hold of her ..she has got her phone on answerphone (understandably) ... and I hope she is OK ...

By RICHARD WOODD richard.woodd@tnl.co.nz - Taranaki Daily News | Saturday, 16 August 2008

Joy's death wish finds sympathy, rekindles debate

Joy Hunter has been besieged with calls after declaring her right to kill herself in Thursday's Taranaki Daily News.

"I didn't really like the exposure and the headline but if I'm connecting with other like-minded people, then I'm pleased to have got the voluntary euthanasia debate rekindled," she says.

All the major radio talkback hosts have called her and on Monday she will be interviewed by TV3.

"I had a woman phone me from Wellington to offer a drug that can be used for suicide and she claims it's untraceable. I've told her I'm prepared to meet her," she says.

"I can do what I like to myself but the law will prosecute anyone who assists me. I'll do what I can to have the law decriminalised, while I'm still able," she says.

Mrs Hunter, 77, is a stalwart of the Eltham Historical Society and in 2005 published Slices From New Zealand History, a history of milling and bread-making.

"How long have I got? I don't know. I have cancer developing, and I have bowel function problems. It's a question of what gets me first: the cancer or another stroke or dementia," she says.

"Despite all that I'm still quite fit and my heart is strong. I'm driving legally again but I've lost my confidence since the stroke."

She has only one child, a daughter aged 40 who lives in rural Taranaki.

"I've told her what I plan to do and she was very upset but it's my choice. I'd never involve her.

"She wanted to build a granny flat or extra room for me, but it wouldn't be the same as Eltham, so I'm staying here in the Masonic flats."

When she does pass on, naturally or from her own actions, Mrs Hunter wants a simple cremation, and no big fuss, but says her daughter vows she will organise a wake in her honour.

"My ashes can be buried under an oak tree at her place that was grown from a seed of the Pitcaithly Oak in Thames.

"That grew from an acorn planted by in 1864 by my Scottish great-great-grandmother."

Mrs Hunter said she incorrectly named a veterinary euthanasia drug in Thursday's story as Benulate, when it should have been Nembutal.

Urgghhh ... today .. my head is in a funk ...

So here's a song that's helping me to breathe ...(Sorry to take your analogy Sarah) ..

Music is where I find my solace ... and I can hide .. and zone out ... so when I have the stereo up loud ...well it's kind of a given .. things are not as good as they could be ...

Thank goodness for music huh or else my Visa would have got a hammering!

Maroon 5 - "Harder To Breathe"
How dare you say that my behavior is unacceptable
So condescending unnecessarily critical
I have the tendency of getting very physical
So watch your step cause if I do you'll need a miracle
You drain me dry and make me wonder why I'm even here
This Double Vision I was seeing is finally clear
You want to stay but you know very well I want you gone
Not fit to fuckin' [CD cover says: "funkin'"] tread the ground that I'm walking on
When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love
You'll understand what I mean when I say
There's no way we're gonna give up
And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
What you are doing is screwing things up inside my head
You should know better you never listened to a word I said
Clutching your pillow and writhing in a naked sweat
Hoping somebody someday will do you like I did
When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love
You'll understand what I mean when I say
There's no way we're gonna give up
And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
Does it kill
Does it burn
Is it painful to learn
That it's me that has all the control
Does it thrill
Does it sting
When you feel what I bring
And you wish that you had me to hold
When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love
You'll understand what I mean when I say
There's no way we're gonna give up
And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
is there anyone out there cuz its gettin harder and harder to breathe

Thursday, August 14, 2008

A newspaper article in the Daily News - 14th August 2008

OK .. so I did get to do a 4th post .. but this has kinda rocked my world ...

This lady is my friend's mum .. not something I expected to see on the inside of the paper ... when I talked to her on Tuesday, I said to DH that she seemed to have lost her "spark" for life ... it is a "shock" to hear she had tried to commit suiside in October, as when we talked she said the doctors "did not know" what caused her to suddenly become unconscious .. now we know how she did ...

Was she "ashamed" that she did then .. and now is not .. I'm not sure .. a lot of questions ...

By LYN HUMPHREYS lyn.humphreys@tnl.co.nz - Taranaki Daily News | Thursday, 14 August 2008

Joy determined to die

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Photo: BRADLEY AMBROSE

Joy Hunter wants voluntary euthanasia to become law in New Zealand.

An Eltham woman says she is determined to die before she needs to go into a rest home or becomes a burden on her family.

Joy Hunter, 77, says she has had a full and interesting life, but now wants the right to kill herself humanely.

But after three failed attempts to take her own life she wants to live long enough to see voluntary euthanasia become legal in New Zealand.

In October, she took sleeping pills but was found unconscious in her chair by her caring neighbours and resuscitated - despite filling in a do-not-resuscitate form.

"I was very surprised to wake up. I was disappointed."

Two other attempts have also failed.

Ms Hunter was an NAC airhostess, married a pilot, lived overseas, became a mother, author, expert on herbs, and has diplomas in aromatherapy and therapeutic massage.

But she now has incurable cancer and has had a minor stroke.

"I want to go before I have another stroke. It's time for me."

The news that she had made the suicide attempts has shocked her good friend, retired nurse, Di Hutton, of New Plymouth.

But Ms Hutton, 74, says she supports her friend's move for voluntary euthanasia as do many of their friends.

"Joy is a real old trooper. She's had an amazing life. She's lovely, is Joy."

When she was nursing, she often saw morphine used for cancer sufferers when they were near death, Ms Hutton said. "You can't stand by and let people suffer," Ms Hutton said.

Their stance is made more difficult in Taranaki which she describes as parochial.

Ms Hunter says she has been an honorary member of the Voluntary Euthanasia Society of New Zealand for two years and attended workshops in Wellington and an Exit International conference in Christchurch in July.

She has found GPs not keen to talk about euthanasia. One replied that he had taken the hypocratic oath.

"It's very noble but times have changed," she said.

Ms Hunter said she is well aware that New Zealanders travelling overseas are bringing back Benulate, which vets use for euthanising animals, so they can use it for themselves.

However the cost, at $5000 on the black market, means it is often only affordable for the rich.

"Voluntary euthanasia is for people still cognitive. I can't see that anyone else should be involved. It could be open to abuse but if the law covers it properly it shouldn't be abused.

"I'll try and get this recommended and supported while I am able. I'd like to live to see the law decriminalised."

She finds the growth in privatised rest homes in Taranaki upsetting. She remains upset that her own mother was not well cared for in a rest home.

The Jenny Craig moment ..

I started Jenny Craig last Monday - it was one of those moments people talk about but you know I would think .. yeh OK then ..lol ..

Well anyway it's been brewing for a while .. I'd been thinking about it over the weekend how I'd do it .. how I'd adjust the grocery budget .. how I would tell my husband .. you know all the barriers .. just to make myself NOT do it

.. but on this morning I thought RIGHT .. after I dropped the Little Missy off .. I got in the car and drove straight to the Jenny Craig clinic .. and said I want to begin the program as soon as I can .. I expected them to make an appt with me and I'd come back .. but NO .. I was taken in to the consultation room .. and the consultand went through things with me .. and I was away ..

I think if I had to go back I wouldn't have done it .. and was soooo pleased with myself having made this first step to get my health back on track .. and to stop myself feeling sooo depressed and sorry for myself ..

I got myself here .. and no-one is going to be able to get me back on track to my health except myself ..

I seriously can't remember half of my answers to the questions the consultant asked me about the goals I have .. but I would love to look back when I'm nearer my goal to see what sort of mind-set I was in ...

So now 1 & 1/2 weeks in to it ... so far on Monday's weigh in .. I lost 2.5 kgs, now most of that is fluid, but if I keep up what I'm doing, it surely is going to help the steady weight loss.

I've had a couple of slips .. like on Monday, when something got me really down and I ate a 1/4 pack of Shapes crackers .. but in the past it would have been the whole packet!!!

Fruit and veges - well more fruit and veges are my friend ... I've found my eating wasn't too bad - except the odd emotional junk food eating .. it was more the portion sizes I was eating... maybe also I was eating while distracted you know a little bit here, a little bit here ...

Anyhoo .. determined this time .. jeepers I have to be ... to be in a healthy weight range .. and at the higher level of that .. I have (had) 19kg's to lose .. holy mackerel batman !!

But my first aim is 5kgs, 5 kgs to me is more manageable in my head! and told DH encouraging words would help!!! and after our wee talk on Friday things between us seem a lot better .. we will see tonite if he heads out!

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This is me at my wedding 13 years ago a misely 55 kgs!!

as 82kgsHere is me now at 82kgs

.. and my dream 62 kg's ..62kgs

Now this and me out for dinner on my 30th ... at 65kgs .. this I could handle ..

Chris and I Jan 2001

The middle two are virtual models of course .. and I probably look nothing like them .. or never will ...

Catching up .. 3 post in one day .. lol

OK call the doctor .. I'm on blogging overload .. well I can be forgiven .. 4 weeks ...3 posts .. I may even do another to catch up .. NOT!

I want a new camera ..

This is what I have - the Olympus C2350 ..

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and it is biting the dust quick .. it has served us well - lasted well - 5 years .. we got it in Dec 2003, so when the boys were 10 months or so ..

BUT .... this one I can get on flybuys .. with a few extra $$...

Kodak Easyshare Z8612IS

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Here's what it does ..

Powerful zoom. Remarkable clarity.

12X optical zoom with optical image stabilization

8.1 MP for prints up to 30 × 40 in. (76 × 102 cm)

HD pictures and optional KODAK EASYSHARE HDTV Dock

High ISO (up to 3200*)

Advanced settings and manual controls (PASM)

Smart scene mode

Oh wouldn't this be nice ...