The Pity party's over ...WAHOOO!

I woke up feeling positive and ready to face the world .. and without crying .. the first time in 4 days .. and today there is no dark cloud

... I can face this .. and get on with life ..

I don't know whether it was the psychologist visit or me just getting it out of my system ..

It may come back .. but at the moment .. I'm not going to think about it ..

Positives ..

* M5 doesn't need his glasses changed .. and no patches ... WAHOO

* Psychologist appointment was great .. went through lots of things .. and given lots of tip and exercises ..

* Feeling less guilty about how sad I am .. about the situations I face ..

* My kids, my DH, my family and me ...

* Nana is bright .. even though she is on full oxygen ... she may be moving to a different ward to rehab on Monday - WAHOO!!!

* I have my health

* We're not starving, without the necessities .. or love around us ..

Negatives ..

- Pop .. went into complete heart failure yesterday and was resuscitated .. and is now on IV fluids ... is severely malnourished and dehydrated .. doctors feel he has given up ..

I visited after M5's visit .. and had a scary text, while I was around the corner visiting Nana .. so went around and he was in and out of a drowsy state .. but still I hope recognised me and the kids were there ..

Mum of course is very upset ...

- Our friends daughter does have Cancer and they are doing tests now to determine which particular type .. they will get the news on Monday .. she will have 6 weeks Chemo (standard for all kids cancers  I understand from my good friends daughter leukemia) .. and then another protocol after that depending on the type and degree of the horrible thing ...

My thoughts, prayers and love are with them ... terrible, terrible disease!

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We're off to help DH with the calves .. and then he'll take the kids to get some MORE calves .. and I'll go for a walk .. on my own, I'll smell the springness.. and just BE ...

The best way I can BE ..